"New directions."

Feeling unhappy or sad. We all know how it feels like. What many of us don’t know is why we are feeling like that or how to get out of it. Here’s an example.

 

I have been in an unhappy place a while ago. Not many people knew about this. People thought I’m was fine, especially those who followed my social media.

(I think by now we all know how social media tricks people and how the happy pictures might not always reflect reality.)

Anyways, in the beginning I couldn’t really figure out why I was feeling that way. I mean I knew that work was pretty exhausting, but actually there was nothing else going on?!

Things have changed, I realized some things that I used to think I was fine with, were actually not fine at all to me anymore. I often caught myself being in a bad mood, having negative thoughts. In the beginning I didn’t really understand why, thought it was just a phase, but this phase just didn’t seem to end. My close friends have noticed the negativity that creeped in and changed my moods as well. What I noticed was, that I was constantly complaining about work. Whenever I talked to my friend, I would always tell her about what happened, that I am annoyed about things, what I was dealing with. But in the end, I would still say, that I am actually grateful and that there are many good things about my work as well, so it couldn’t be just about work, right?

It went like this for a while until one day I actually got in an argument with my best friend. She was telling me that she noticed how I’m changing. How my positive attitude starts to fade and that she thinks that it has something to do with my influences at work. She said that this wouldn’t be the right environment for me, that I am not the person that I actually am anymore and that I need to move on. Changing something? I replied that I just have to stick through it for 9 more months, that I couldn’t imagine leaving the family that I work with. We had a huge debate. When I got home I talked to another person, who knows me best. I was shocked when that person told me that my friend was right and that I should talk to my boss and eventually look for a new family as well. I’ve been fighting, didn’t want to admit that I have to do that, thought I would just stick through it, because I felt like, after making the commitment to stay longer, I couldn’t just leave like this. In fact, I already had conversations with my boss about things that I felt uncomfortable with. Until sleeping a night over everything and having another conversation with my boss the next day I didn’t realize, that they were absolutely right, that I should take the step and quit. I needed to make a change. I needed to do what’s right for me and my emotional well-being. I know that I am not the only person who went through this. Sometimes a lot of people just stick to situations that they are uncomfortable with, whether it is at work, in a relationship, or somewhere else. Why are we doing this to ourselves?

I mean you will always encounter situations, chores, or things at work or in relationships that you don’t like, the question is – can you live with it or not? And if you find yourself in a constant state of unhappiness then there is definitely something wrong. You are not supposed to suffer for such a long time.

The reason why we are doing this to ourselves is because of FEAR. We are afraid of changes, of the “what if?”. In my case, I only had two weeks to find another family, otherwise I would’ve had to go back to my home country and I didn’t feel ready to go back home. So “What if I won’t find another family, what if I will see the current family never again, or what if it will be in another state very far away from all my friends and everything that I built here?”

This was the point where I had to be faithful. I had to be faithful and hopeful that everything will work out in my favor. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it.

We should not let fear control us, but instead act and do what makes us happy. We only have this one life, so why wasting our precious time with things that aren’t making us happy?

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If you feel unhappy and you see that conversations or other solutions that you tried, won’t help, make a CHANGE. Do not let fear control you. Do whatever it takes to be happy. Change your workplace, leave toxic relationships, move to another apartment. Whatever it is – be brave, take a step forward, care for yourself, your emotional and physical well-being.