"New directions" (part II) /"Rematch"

In this post I want to go deeper into the whole process of me changing my job / the family that I worked with. 

​

So how did I do that? I know I explained a lot about why we should make changes and I also mentioned a little bit about my situation, but today I want to get more into detail.

Since I’m an Au pair and part of a specific Au pair program, there are certain rules about changing your host family. I’m going to explain the for me and most of the other Au pairs most important rule when it comes to a rematch. You only have two weeks to find another family, otherwise you’re going to have to return to your home country. This rule sounded really scary to me. I had all these questions and doubts popping up in my head. What if I won’t find the right family in time, what if it is going to be so far away from all my friends, etc.

So, how did I handle this situation?

As I mentioned in my first post about this topic, I had to be faithful. I tried to be faithful throughout this whole time and believe that everything would work out well for me, that things would turn out great.

But believe me, it wasn’t always easy to keep this mindset. I’ve been struggling, had moments where I was extremely nervous, but in the end, I was strong enough to always remind myself that there must be something better waiting for me. The fact that I still lived with the family, where I just quit my job, didn’t make the situation easier. Even though they were still really kind to me and didn’t change anything, I felt like I didn’t belong there anymore. I dealt with feelings of not belonging and guilt. I felt extremely guilty to leave the kids that loved and trusted me, the kids that I loved as well. I did not want to hurt their innocent little souls.

 I found myself countless times, feeling guilty about leaving them. I knew that this day would come anyway, but it was so unexpected, for me as well as for them and that was what hurt me the most. I felt like they didn’t have enough time to prepare for it. During those two weeks I was stuck in between feelings of either guilt or relief. I tried to enjoy the last couple of days with the kids as much as I could, even though I felt the heavy weight of the circumstances on my shoulders. When I was done working I was going through all my messages from other families, talked to others, met up with them. That took so much time, that it felt like this could be a job itself. It was a stressful time, but the best way of dealing with it was going through it. Moving on, looking for a new destination and keep reminding myself that there is something better waiting for me.

In the end I had to choose between three families. Here I faced the next uncomfortable situation. I had to make a decision. I had a feeling of what family I wanted to choose, but I wanted to be 100 percent sure.

What I did was praying about it. After I did that, I had my answer the next morning. I knew where I had to go - and it was the best choice I could’ve made.

​

Whatever situation you are facing – the best way to deal with it is taking action and facing it. Sometimes we need to go through tough times, to get to a better place. From my experience I can say, that whenever you’re in a difficult situation, there is something better to come for you.