The pain that brings us together

Today I want to focus on how the pain that we feel can create deeper connections and stronger relationships. As well as pain can tear us apart, it can also strengthen our relationships and bring us closer together. I’m happy to be able to share a story with you, that I think is the best one to describe how pain can bring us closer to others. After getting the permission of my friend, I chose to share her story with you.

My friend Bella (name changed), a wonderful, caring girl, had one of the worst-best experiences of her life. 
For years Bella has had a difficult relationship to one of her closest family members. Her mother. Disagreements and fights took place on a regular basis. It seemed to be never ending, until one day, a message that reached Bella, would change everything. 
Bella’s mom was diagnosed with cancer, an advanced stage, incurable.
I purposely chose the words “worst-best” experience. Here is why. The diagnosis came unexpectedly. It was a big shock for both of them. This message is one of the worst ones you could ever get. But here is what happened afterwards. Once her mom was diagnosed, Bella still a young lady, started to take care of her mom. She accompanied her to doctors appointments, was by her side when she got her treatment. She was there for her during the darkest and most terrifying moments that the monster called cancer has put her mom through. Arguments and fights became less. Instead they started appreciating each other’s presence, all the precious moments they got to spend with each other. They realized, that their time together was now limited and started to make the best out of it. I will never forget the words of Bella:
“As terrible as it is, this has been the best time we had with each other in a long time.”
Instead of focusing on the negative, Bella focused on the positive turn it took. Bella was there for her mom until the end. Her mom passed months after she got diagnosed. Others might have considered this as the worst thing that has ever happened in their lives and could not see any good in it. Bella chose to see it as a blessing in disguise. 

Writing about this makes me feel so much. There is so much sadness and pain in this story, but even more strength and beauty. I wish this would be a fictional story, that Bella wouldn’t have had to go through all this, but I know that this shaped her and made her to the strong and beautiful woman she is today.